(Reported from my actual show performances)
Officer Rick Bates vs Rufus!
Show 1: Rufus vs Bates
Rufus the retard continued his plans to fight everyone to determine whether they are good or evil. Today, Rufus challenged Officer Rick Bates, who as of late has been known for his crooked actions in "upholding" the law. Rufus got nervous before Bates came out, worried that one of his heroes was going to be tarnished. He would be right. However, Rufus started yammering about special school and how he met another special person there. She was a girl he liked and she took her panties off and Rufus found out what sex was about. After missing several times, Rufus finally found the hole. This talk was mostly off subject (but nothing is off subject to Rufus) but got a huge response from the crowd. Finally Bates came out and basically told poor Rufus that he really only worked for money and it really didn't matter whether something was right or wrong. Rufus pitched a fit and threw stuff at Bates. Bates reminded him that he was an officer and that if Rufus got too crazy he'd have to take him to jail. Rufus calmed down after that. Bates told Rufus that there was no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, and no other magical things in the world and that he needed to live in reality. He then told Rufus that he had to pay him for all this motivational speaking. Rufus didn't understand, so Bates said he'd just come and get payment from his mommy in a few days. We all know what he meant by that.
Show 2: Wilbur's Restless Heart
In a risky move on the part of production, the second stringer brothers of the Hydrick family, Wilbur and J-Diddy (Junior) Hydrick were featured in this show alone. Wilbur was complaining about the recent return of the previously-thought deceased Grandma Hydrick. First she beat all four brothers with a board, then she made them drink her Cabbage Tobbacco Elixir to "get the city outta 'em!" Now Wilbur, a truck driver, talked with J-Diddy feeling a major need to get away from her strict rules. Wilbur said that Grandma Hydrick would never stand for him going off and getting him some more truck stop slut action if she knew about it. Wilbur said he didn't live by her rules and that he only went by the "Code of the Road." Another reason Wilbur was wanting to leave was because last night Grandma Hydrick acted all weird and made all four boys stand in a field with no pants. She then personally shaved all the pubic hair from their groeing area for some odd reason. Wilbur vowed to leave, and J-Diddy left with him by the end of the show.
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