The Pitt Report, as featured on
http://blogs.myspace.com/joshawertyNew Ink Pitt--Dealing with the Dupes pt. 4 of 12: “Targeting Manly Man Yellow”
After the attempted assassination of the Manly Man Gaymerica, the five Manly Men went their separate ways in the hope of throwing off their would-be assassin by forcing him to hunt each one individually. Manly Man Safari had Billy G to protect him, but he still got shot in the ass. Now, the Manly Man Yellow, proud former ambASSador of the Manly Man Gaymerica, was wayy too flamboyant to hide from anything. In fact, since the Manlies split, Yellow had been the only one to actually stay out in the open, basking in the sunlight that mirrored the color of his outfit! Yellow had used the absence of Gaymerica to make himself into a star! He had already become a motivational speaker, and now wanted to become a stand-up comic. He referenced his smiling yellow face as the reason he wanted to get into the business. With a face like that, he was practically a living smiley face! Everything about him screamed humor--or at least that’s what he told everyone. When the would-be assassin, the real Manly Man showed up, Yellow was actually in the middle of his first stand-up routine in a club. The Manly Man sat in the back, marveling that one his dupes had become a performer! He then felt a bit threatened. “There is no way you can be better than the original Man Princess, Sugar!“ However, before he shot at him, Manly Man wanted to at least see if Yellow was any good or not. So he listened. The Manly Man Yellow delivered a set up, “So I’m gay…” followed by a punch line. “…that means my significant other has the same parts I do!” The audience was silent. Yellow continued. “So what do you do when your mate has the same parts? Simple…you comapre them!” Silence. “Which leads to a lot of arguments, let me tell ya! My boyfriend says his is bigger, and then I say mine is bigger, and we go back and forth like that.” The Manly Man cringed. Manly Man Yellow was awful! His jokes absolutely sucked, and it needed to end fast! Manly Man drew Officer Bates’ pistol. “Sorry, Yellow, this show is over!” Manly Man fired off a shot, which hit Yellow right in the leg and knocked him off his feet! He couldn’t do stand-up if he couldn’t stand..hopefully. Manly Man giggled and then ran out of the club. He almost got caught by security, but he managed to dodge them and escape through a rear exit. Manly Man was spotted, but would anyone be able to distinguish him from the other Manlies? Once outside, Manly Man found safety in an alley. Once again, he had failed in killing one of his duplicates. It seemed that now he was just out to prove to them that he was the original Manly Man and they were all fakers! He no longer had any intent to kill them. “Ooo once I’ve left my mark on all my naughty duplicates, then I will reveal myself to them, and reveal the plans I’ve had since arriving here in the New Ink Pitt!” He then ran off, in search of his next target!
The Pitt Repot now updates every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights!
All characters, stories, and performances are (C) Copyright 2010 Joshua Dyson
