(Reported from my actual show performances)
Rufus the Retard & Johnny Pizzazz's first
appearances on this blog!
Show 1: Rufus vs Johnny Pizazz
Rufus came out and declared that he would battle magician, Johnny Pizazz today, in a effort to determine whether he is a good guy or bad guy. After howling in a retarded manner at the passing train, and then putting his head in a nearby bucket and screeching, Rufus decided he was ready to fight. Out came Johnny Pizazz, who really wasn't wanting to fight the Special Boy. Pizazz tried to use his microphone and announce his usual "Mage of the Age, Catalyst of Character, and Maestro of Magic catchphrase, but Rufus wasn't having any of it, as he grabbed the mic and hit Pizazz with it. Pizazz tried to stop Rufus' desire to fight by doing coin tricks. Rufus was too smart for that and figured out Pizazz was hiding the missing coin in his pocket with one trick, and in his hand for another. Rufus got made and deemed Pizazz a bad guy because he played mean tricks on him. Rufus threw the microphone at Pizazz and ran him off. Rufus then stood in his chair and went on about crazy stuff.
Show 2: Hands of Time Talks about a New Hire
Hands of Time came out for the second show of the day, dropping his trademark catchphrase of "I'm going to Charleston," in reference to the fact that he is experiencing a high from whatever "wacky weed" he's snorting. He went on about how hard it was being the Hands of Time, and having to help make events happen and how he needed some kind of relaxation. He then said that in May the two Pitts would be split again and the first pitt would be separated from the second one, and the characters would have to go to their respective places. To help with the split pitts, Hands of Time said he found another person like himself to run one of them. No real details were dropped on who that will be however. To be continued... Disclaimer: The above events are fictional, and are acted out by myself using my improvisational characters. No retarded people were harmed or were even present during the show, and no one was using illegal or legal drugs. Thank you.
The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
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