Monday, July 30, 2012

Classic Pitt Report 136


Originally posted on my first blog, on April 30, 2009

The Hands of Time!
Show 1: Hands of Time Claims the Hydricks/Grandma Hydrick's Shit
Hands of Time appeared at the Hydricks' residence today, come to claim the boys for the new Ink Pitt on behalf of Stardust. Hands of Time had a brief scuffle with Wilbur Hydrick, who tried to trick Hands of Time into going into the bathroom and "sniffing" the "present" he left in the toilet for him. Hands of Time was momentarily fooled thinking that Wilbur really had left some crack in there for him. Hands of Time thought for a moment though, and realized what Wilbur was trying to get him to do. Hands of Time then said he was not there to fight, but to transport the boys away from their "grandma." This idea caused "Grandma" Hydrick to protest, as she went and got
right up in Hands of Time's face. Hands of Time then asked how the boys could be so dumb, and not see the truth about "grandma." He said they should have listened to Rufus' warning that she smelled funny and that she was "bad, bad, bad." Red Doom also said something was not right with "grandma" Hydrick, but still the boys didn't get it. A major giveaway was when "grandma" had Trevor pick the backed up, hard
crap out of Wilbur's butt. Hands of Time then snapped his fingers and the disguise fell away. Where Grandma Hydrick was, now stood none other than Shithead, who had been missing for months! Shithead cursed Hands of Time and vowed revenge on him, and said he had spent so much time making the boys believe that Grandma Hydrick was still alive and now it was all in vain. Shithead had planned to use the boys in his
growing evil army. Shithead left, and the boys couldn't believe what had happened. Realizing Grandma Hydrick wasn't alive, they all started breaking down and crying. Hands of Time couldn't take anymore, and with a snap of his fingers, the boys vanished, transported to the new Ink Pitt to join Rufus, She-Peepers, and King Trostelus.

Show 2: Stardust takes Just A Solider
While standing guard as part of Pizazz and Doom's army against Hands of Time, Ink Avenger and Just A Solider encountered Stardust. Stardust walked up, suprising the two as he appeared out nowhere. Ink Avenger told Stardust to stay back, unless he wanted to get severely beaten. Stardust asked Ink Avenger how it made him feel to wear his underwear on the outside, and then went on to tell about the first time he put on ladies' panties and fishnets. He said it made him feel so good and very, very beautiful. Stardust said he was not there for Ink Avenger, though he hoped they "crossed" paths in the future. He had come for a very beautiful man by the name of Just A Solider. The solider agreed with the order of Stardust by saying "sir, yes sir!" He then began talking about birds flying and how he couldn't understand why. Stardust then caused him to vanish to the new Ink Pitt. Ink Avenger got mad and tried to rush him. Stardust disappeared before he could be touched.

All characters, stories, photos, and performances are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

The characters and events portrayed in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Classic Pitt Report 135

Originally posted on my first blog, on April 29, 2009


Introducing Stardust, the Star-Crossed Crossdresser!


Show 1: Coming of Stardust
As promised, Hands of Time introduced the entity that will be taking over the second "universe" of characters after Pitts Apart is complete. Hands of Time toyed with the audience, finally revealing the entity to be Stardust, the Starlet of Space! Evidently, the Stardust entity has some kind of control over space and things in it (a la time and space). Stardust, however, turned out to be much more than a simple cosmic entity that was birthed in the stars. He came out talking about true beauty and how he was a beautiful young man who loved "pretty" things. He said he enjoyed wearing women's clothes, and that was obvious from the long sparkly wig and strange face markings he wore. He called himself the Starlet of Space, but also the Star-Crossed Crossdresser!! He paraded around, touching himself and sucking up air and releasing it with profane puffs that blew the sparkly hairs of his wig in all directions. He thanked Hands of Time and promised to do a good job. He got excited when he thought of Rufus the retard in his universe, and how he was going to turn him into a "beautiful, prim and proper young man."

Show 2: Stardust meets Manly Man
Not wasting any time with Pitts Apart, Stardust and Hands of Time appeared where the Manly Man and Sambo were. Manly Man had just remarked about how hot it was, and how he was going to take his clothes off. He decided Sambo should do it instead, so Manly Man could take pictures and sell it to Playgirl magazine. Manly Man and Sambo were shocked to see Hands of Time and Stardust. Hands of Time said he didn't want Manly Man in his universe and how he was basically kicking him out. Stardust invited him to come along, and Manly Man, seeing the decorative crossdresser as the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, immediately agreed to go with him. The two disappeared, leaving Sambo and Hands of Time behind. Sambo talked with Hands of Time, asking why they had the same type of voice, and if they were somehow related. Hands of Time just vanished, saying there were just some things he didn't need to know. Sambo was bewildered, left behind, and for the first time ever, with no master!


All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

The characters and events portrayed in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Mr. Peepers Stage Show introduction

This is the introduction to one of my Mr. Peepers stage shows that I have been performing at Cafe Strudel in West Columbia, SC. I will be performing again this spring! Come out and see me live on stage!




All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.