Classic Pitt Report 107--Return of Peepers/Hooters

Originally posted on my first blog, on September 3, 2007


Peepers want touch Hooters Girl's
boobies, but she not allow!

"So, Mr. Peepers been away awhile from this blog. But now, Peepers back! He has been out exploring the many naturally occuring wonders of the female persuasion! He returns with new insight after visiting Hooters countless times! Peepers feel he now know women better since at Hooters, it is acceptable and expected for men to stare at hot barely-dressed ladies! Peepers feel great about it...just wish girl not try to sell him so much Hooters merchandise!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Inkstains 23

Classic Inkstains #23--Second Person Assists Barney
The Second Person tries to stop Barnery from printing the table!

Inkstains characters, stories, and art are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Inkstains now updates every Sunday and Wednesday


All-new episodes return Wednesday 4.6.11!

Classic Pitt Report 106--Mr. Clementine's Stories: Terry's Not So Deep Throat

Originally posted on my first blog, on September 3, 2007


Mr. Clementine's first post!
"Hello children, today Mr. Clementine is going to tell his labor day story! So sit back and sip your Hi-C and eat your fruit cups! There was this guy on the Jerry Lewis MDA labor day telethon that had a girly voice. We'll call him Terry. Terry hated his girly voice, and it made it worse that he had to be an announcer for the telethon each year. Can you say "announcer," children? Well to make things better, Terry tried to get more baritone in his voice by doing throat exercises. He'd do swallowing repetitions in an attempt to deepen his voice (don't try at home kids) working his throat like a body builder works his muscles. He then tried blowing up rather large blow up toys, including blow up sex dolls, to strenghten his vocal chords. He ate hundreds of Ricola mints and tried to breathe cold air. Then one day, Terry met a lady who had a similar problem. The lady had a deep voice like a man's. They fell in love and forgot about their troubles, until Terry found out the lady was a man. It happened when the "lady" told Terry that he could deepen his voice by giving "her" a little deep throat....ughhh. Can you say "deep throat," children?"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 105--Extreme Redneck Makeover

Originally posted on my first blog, on July 30, 2007


Chief Blacktoes first appeared in Summer 2005, holding the first-ever summer camp in the Ink Pitt! The Emo Indian taught the members of the Ink Pitt the ways of Native Americans--when he wasn't crying about his ex-wife leaving him!
Hey Ya'll this here's Billy G. Hydrick, yore average American redneck! Well lemme tell ya'll what ah did last week! Ah held the first-ever Extreme Redneck Makeover! Ah know this Injun...ah mean Indian feller named Chief Blacktoes. He's been having trouble finding women to date him since his wife, Sunny Big Breasts, left him for a scandalous life as a stripper at da Huge Rack Club! Some fellers and I actually saw her act...and WOOWEE it shore is hot!! But anyway, ah agreed ta help Blacktoes get some women by making him over as a redneck! So on Day One, ah sent him to Disney World! Why? Ah dunno...it's what they do on that Extreme Home Makeover show so ah thought it was a good idea. So while ah was in South Carolina, hanging out at Blacktoes' TeePee, he was down in Orlando meeting up with that overgrown mouse! Man them Crackers down in Floridia sure are weird...Giant Mice haha!! Well I had some other fellers there with me who wanted to learn to be rednecks, so first I taught them some redneck ettiquitt! Here's some expressions ta use at the dinner table when yore wife is giving ya a hard time:
WOMAN, GIMMIE MAH BEER! PASS THE DAMN TATERS!
GET YORE WHITE TRASH BUTT OVER HERE AND POUR ME SOME MORE TEA!
And here's some stuff to tell her in the bedroom:
TAKE OFF YOUR DAMN CLOTHES AND GET NEKKID!
DANG RIGHT I'M BRINGIN' MY SNUFF TO BED!
YOU SHORE IS GETTIN' FAT...YOUR BOOBS ARE STARTIN' TO SAG
TURN OFF THE LIGHT...AH CAN'T DO IT WHILE LOOKIN' AT YOU
WANNA DO IT IN MAH DEER STAND?
After that, ah let dem fellers see what redneck teeth look like..after not brushing mah teeth for a month! Finally, ah gave em a shore fire way to pick up hot women! Ah pulled out my white trash baby (which ah found in the garbage can earlier that morning...city folks throw away everythin!) and showed her around!

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Inkstains 22

Classic Inkstains #22--Kelly's Thai Heritage
Kelly reveals her Thai heritage and lets Josh know that she is a "sexy Thai lady!" This episode marks the beginning of Kelly's flirtations with my character.

Inkstains characters, stories, and art (C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Inkstains now updates every Sunday and Wednesday

All-new episodes return Wednesday 4.6.11!

Classic Pitt Report 104--Peepers Returns/Admit You're Gay Match

Originally posted on my first blog, on June 6, 2007 Note: The return of live Ink Pitt Shows kept me so busy that I neglected the blog for a while. This posting was the first one in nearly a month.

Mr. Peepers arrrives, ready for the
Admit You're Gay Match!

"After spending long time away from blog, Peepers decide it time he come back and talk to all his sexy female admirers online (anyone on Josh's friends list that is female hehe). Peepers know you missed him, so he come back to peep into your worlds and view ALL your female wonders hehehe!!! Peepers get so excited at that thought! Peeping into all of your lives and seeing you naked before Peepers make Peepers feel powerful...powerful and very very VERY hard!! Well Peepers been making visits to Ink Pitt, and now it seems Peepers got into trouble with other Ink Pitt character named Manly Man! Peepers was hanging around all-ladies fitness place and one lady complain to manager! Manager was this Manly Man character, who walk around with pink feather boa, crown and baton! Peepers know he gay but he not seem to know! So Manly Man challenge Peepers to a wrestling match at the upcoming "POUNDING IN THE PITT." Peepers upped the stakes for the "homo who says he's hetro" by making it the first-ever "Admit You're Gay Match!" The loser has to admit he's gay and wear a dress for a month!! Peepers sure of his manliness, and knows he love sexy ladies and their big boobies. Peepers confident he win and get Manly Man to admit he's gay!!"

Mr. Peepers was right! The Manly Man lost and admitted to being gay and quickly put on the dress and paraded around in the Ink Pitt for all to see!

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 103--Ink Pitt: Where it's at!

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 16, 2007


Mr. Peepers arrives in the Ink Pitt!

Well I know everyone who actually reads this is wondering where the heck the Ink Pitt is. It's in West Columbia, SC, in the t-shirt shop where I work. It's a makeshift breakroom where I do improv performances of the characters in my head! Here's a breakdown of the Ink Pitt Returns week so far:

Monday: Vinnie Love comes out and says: "Oww have mercy!! It feels good to dance again! For those of you who don't know, my name is Vinnie Love, and I'm here to tell ya that the Ink Pitt is back, baby! We're doing it one more time, daddy! And this time we're doing it bigger and badder than ever! Ole Vinnie is here to roll out the red carpet for the Ink Pitt characters! I'll be back later on in the week, but today, coming up next, LIVE in the Ink Pitt...put your hands together for TRODEMUS: PROPHET OF DOOM."

Prophet of Doom comes out to "Blood" theme song and made these predictions: the monster will return, Peepers did impregnate that woman (which you've all heard but the members of the Ink Pitt have not), and that he sees strange things!

Tuesday: The Manly Man debuts in the Ink Pitt and talks about his exercise equipment advertisers wanting him to get a more gay theme song for his commercials, at which point he left it up to the audience to decide. Among the songs were the Divinyls "I Touch Myself," former WWE wrestler Chyna's entrance theme "Who I Am," gay wresters Billy and Chuck's theme song "You Look So Good to Me," and "Man's Man" used for WWE wrestler William Regal. "Man's Man" won, which made the Manly man happy. Happy all the way down to his pink boa, crown, and shoes, with baton.

Wednesday: Ink Avenger ran out and did superhero dance which was unscheduled. Peepers called about getting Avenger a prostitute and the Avenger flew away quick! The Billy G. did his cabbage tobbacco eating thing while talking about hunting.

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 102--Ink Avenger's Prostitute

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 16, 2007

The Ink Avenger returns to the Ink Pitt!

"So Mr. Peepers call Ink Avenger today because he try to interrupt Billy G. Hydrick's Ink Pitt performance! Peepers get Avenger to stop stupid superhero dance, which uses moves from that new Hip Hop Abs commercial! Peepers get Ink Avenger, who is superhero, a prostitute! He left Ink Pitt immediately so Billy G. Hydrick could do his performance (which involved eating homegrown chewing tobacco made from cabbage and tobbacco leaves and talking about his new mullet). So tomorrow, Vinnie Love performs again and talks about happy loving couples!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Inkstains 21

Inkstains #21--Barney's Buddy

Barney wants the Second Person as his buddy, but all he can get from him is sympathy for his drunken failures!

Inkstains characters, stories, and art
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Inkstains now updates every Sunday and Wednesday

All-new episodes return Wednesday 4.6.11!

Classic Pitt Report 101--Prophet & Peepers at Carrabbas

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 13, 2007

Peepers & Doom have a meal in a darkened corner

of Carrabbas!

"So today Peepers call Prophet of Doom up, who is also staying in same hotel as Peepers. Since we both perform for the Ink Pitt Returns next week, Peepers decide to forgive Prophet for lying about Peepers having baby with hot breasted chick who Peepers lick in river street alley. Peepers invite Prophet out to eat at Carrabbas in Columbia. Peepers go and amaze at all the hot chicks out for Mothers day!! Peepers get too excited, and he have to calm down! So Peepers and Prophet have civil conversation. Then we both team up to score hot chicks! Prophet get hot waitress impressed with him when he tell her he fortune teller! He touch girls hand and say stupid stuff like he always does...but he get girls phone number! Peepers then hit on other waitress and get her number as well!! hehe!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances are

(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 100--Doom to Appear

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 9, 2007

Doom is set to return to the Ink Pitt!

"AHH SO JOSH CALLED ME IN MY HOTEL ROOM. I, THE PROPHET OF DOOM, AM SLATED TO APPEAR IN THE INK PITT SOON AND TELL MY PROPHECIES FOR THE INK PITT!! WILL IT BODE WELL, OR BADLY?"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Inkstains 20

Inkstains #20--Running Another Job

Josh keeps his distance from the moody Kelly.


Inkstains characters, stories, and art
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Inkstains now updates every Sunday and Wednesday

All-new episodes return Wednesday 4.6.11!

Classic Pitt Report 99--Vinnie Love

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 9, 2007

Vinnie Love is back, Daddy!!

"OWW HAVE MERCY!! VINNIE LOVE IS HERE TO SHARE SOME OF HIS SWEET, SWEET LOVE WITH THE INK PITT AND THIS BLOG! OWW, HE'S HERE TO ROLL OUT THE RED CARPET FOR THE INK PITT CHARACTERS!! LEMME TELL YA DADDY, THIS WEEK IS GOING TO BE SMOKIN'! THIS FRIDAY, APPEARING IN THE INK PITT IN COLUMBIA, SC, WE HAVE YOURS TRULY, WHO'S GONNA SHARE MORE LOVE THAN TWO LESBIANS GETTING OFF ON A POLE!! THEN WE'VE GOT THAT SHADY SHADY DARK MAN, TRODEMUS, PROPHET OF DOOM! ALSO, WE'RE GONNA HAVE MY MAIN MAN, THAT PERVERTED, SPIER OF WOMEN, MR. PEEPERS!!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances are

(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 98--Peepers in the Hotel Room

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 9, 2007


Mr. Peepers spies on the wonders outside!

"Well Peepers soon discover his hotel room have view of pool below!! Peepers not believe such luck!! It remind Peepers of his old apartment, which have view of pool, where Peepers see lots of half naked ladies! Peepers actually see a few half-naked ladies today too!! Peepers get very excited and perform ceremony! Peepers get call from Josh, who say Peepers will appear sometime next week at Ink Pitt. He said Vinnie Love and Prophet of Doom get to perform first. Peepers get mad, but then Josh tell Peepers how he main event, and that he have to save him for last! Anyway, it give Peepers lots of time to peep and check out Columbia, SC!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 97--Just Me

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 9, 2007


A blog about ME? Yeah, right!

Well, I thought I'd come on here and just tell people about my life as Josh. No Mr. Peepers, Prophet of Doom or anything else. What do you guys think? Well I'll still do a Peepers blog because it's fun lol.

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Inkstains 19

Inkstains #19--Why Did You Do That?!?

The now infamous line, "Why Did You Do That?!?"

is issued by an angry Kelly as her anger towards

Josh returns!

Inkstains characters, stories, and art

(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Inkstains now updates every Sunday and Wednesday

All-new episodes return Wednesday 4.6.11!

Classic Pitt Report 96--In the Hotel

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 8, 2007

Peepers returns to the Ink Pitt!

"So today, Peepers sit around in hotel near Ink Pitt. He get hotel room over weekend when Josh call Peepers to come back and perform in Ink Pitt for drunk screenprinter and fat thai lady! Mr. Peepers tell funny stories and tell them about spying on and photographing naked ladies from his old apartment in Savannah. He not know what else to do! Well, Peepers bring porno mag and show it off lol. At least Josh paying for hotel room for several weeks! Peepers take advantage of it hehe "

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 95--Ink Pitt

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 7, 2007

Trodemus Returns Home!

"YES PEEPERS, EVEN I, TRODEMUS, PROPHET OF DOOM HAVE RETURNED TO THE FABLED PLACE OF OUR ORIGIN...THE INK PITT! ONCE MORE WE WILL RUN WILD IN THE INK PITT WITH OUR INSANITY! ONCE MORE WILL WE SAY "WELCOME TO THE INK PITT, WE GOT FUN AND GAMES!" ONE MORE TIME...YESS ONE MORE TIME! BWAHHAHAH!!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances are

(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Inkstains 18

Inkstains #18--Prepping Screens with Shelia

Shelia teaches Josh how to, well, prep screens.
This episode has a more journal comic feel,
with a "this is what happened during my day"
theme. Inkstains was originally designed to be
a journal comic, but it would later become more
propelled by fictional storyline as opposed to
every single event that happened at my job.

Inkstains characters, stories, and art
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Inkstains now updates every Sunday and Wednesday

All-new episodes return Wednesday 4.6.11!

Classic Pitt Report 94--Return to the Ink Pitt

Mr. Peepers returns home!

"AHH YES! TODAY PEEPERS MOVED OUT OF UNCLES' HOUSE AND WENT BACK TO HIS POINT OF ORIGIN! PEEPERS WENT BACK TO....

THE INK PITT!!

BEWARE ALL YOU SEXY LADIES...PEEPERS COME FOR YOU HEHEHE!!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 93--Mary Jane & Gwen Stacy's Boobage

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 5, 2007

Portrait of Gwen Stacy's Boobs! Drawing by

Joshua Dyson

"Peepers go see Spiderman 3 today, and he wonder which girl hotter...Mary Jane or Gwen Stacy! In first few scenes, Mary Jane not have any boobage and Peepers disappointed! But Gwen Stacy have boobs galore...she have so much boobage in movie that Peepers feel she commit crime and Peepers need to inspect her thoroughly hehe!! But just when Peepers settle on bouncy, bountiful Gwen Stacy...POINK POINK...out comes Mary Jane's boobage! Peepers very happy by end of movie! He go and steal some of Josh's old spiderman comics and make ceremonies for Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy, Black Cat, and other hot sexy female superwomen! It good day hehehehe!! "

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances are

(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Spiderman 3 is a TM trademark of Marvel Entertainment and Twentieth Century Fox

Classic Pitt Report 92--Watching Pirate Porn

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 7, 2007


Peepers suggest everyone go out
and get a copy of Pirates! Photo by
Mr. Peepers from Pirates dvd cover

"So today Peepers peep around corner into Uncles room as Uncle watch porn movie, Pirates! Uncle invite Peepers to come in and watch! He say it most expensive porn movie ever made and that it had most everything. Peepers see girl on girl, two girls and a guy, ugly pirate villan with halfway hot pirate villaness, married couple sex scene, and two pornstars scene...the last being really rough! Those two pornstars really treat each other rough, as each try to gain the advantage hehe!! Peepers feeling swelling in pants while watching!!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Pirates (C) Copyright 2006 Digital Playground, Inc. All rights Reserved

Classic Inkstains 17

Inkstains #17--The Trouble with Kelly pt. 6

Things get better for Josh, but he is left feeling
on edge around Kelly...

Inkstains characters, stories, and art (C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Inkstains now updates every Sunday and Wednesday

All-new episodes return Wednesday 4.6.11!

Classic Pitt Report 91--Can't Get No Stimulation, Baby

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 3, 2007

"So Peepers all moved into uncle's place now! Peepers bored because he see less ladies, and all Peepers' porn magazines packed away! Peepers' one-eyed wonder not even feel least bit stimulated. Peepers really sad!! Peepers need hot lady to come over and sit on Peepers' naked legs while Peepers sit in chair. Peepers massage and lick breasts and make lady feel good hehe!! Oh! Peepers feeling a bit stimulated hehe!!!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 90--Gilmore Girls Reruns

Once again the Manly Man invades Mr. Peeper's

blog, before their first supposed meeting a month later!

"Oohhh...my goodness!! Mr. Peepers and Mr. Doom have been kicked out of their apartment!! This makes me very nervous! I'm going to sit on the couch and watch reruns of the Gilmore Girls!! OHHH!!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates four days a week on this blog!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances are

(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Inkstains 16

Inkstains #16--The Print'n Contest pt. 5

Barney has lost the Print'n Contest, but can't admit defeat!

Inkstains characters, stories, and art (C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Inkstains now updates every Sunday and Wednesday

All-new episodes return Wednesday 4.6.11!

Classic Pitt Report 89--Doom Moves On

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 1, 2007

Doom Leaves Savannah!

"Well, since Peepers' uncle kicked us out of our apartment, I have moved elsewhere to seek my fortunes...fortunes haha...get it? My Fortunes! Ah hell! Bye!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 88--Peepers' Unpaid Rent

Originally posted on my first blog, on May 1, 2007

Peepers has to move out of his apartment!

"So after Peepers reveal to Prophet of Loon and world that he have plastic baby doll child, Peepers' uncle, who own Peepers' apartment complex, get mad and think Peepers not have enough responsibility! He come over to Peepers' apartment and yell at Peepers about not paying rent for the whole year Peepers live there. It true, Peepers not have job (except peeping hehe), and he not pay rent in whole year because uncle support Peepers! Uncle decide that Peepers move in with him for a time! Peepers upset because now Peepers can't perform ceremony in privacy of own apartment! Peepers reluctantly move out into uncle's apartment though, because if Peepers not, then Uncle throw Peepers out on street! At least uncle also like watching half-naked ladies hehe!!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances are

(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 87--Bouncy Plastic Boy

Originally posted on my first blog, on April 24, 2007


Peepers reveals his child!

"Ahh Peepers toy with Prophet long enough! Peepers about to reveal baby in his new pic! Baby Peepers is in pic with Peepers!! He bouncy plastic boy heheheh!!!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 86--Never Had Sex

Originally posted on my first blog, on April 24, 2007

"What the heck are you talking about?!? How can you have a child if you've never had sex with a woman?!? Did you adopt or something?!? What do you mean, your mind birthed the child?"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson

Classic Pitt Report 85--Not from a Woman

Originally posted on my first blog, on April 24, 2007


How can Peepers have a child if he's
never had sex with a woman?

"Yes Peepers do have child, Prophet of Loon! But child not come from any woman! Peepers still virgin..he never have sex in any woman's hoo hoo yet hehe!! But he do have plenty of sex with himself hehe!! Peepers' mind de-virginized first time he see hot girl! It is from mind that Peepers birth baby Peepers hehehe!!"

The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson