Originally posted on my first blog, on June 15, 2009
New Ink Pitt--Face the Gaytion pt. 9 of 12: Manly Man Campaigns at the Psychic Parlor of Doom/Bingo Hall of Blacktoes
 |
| Gaymerica at the door! |
Manly Man was out on the campaign trail today, trying to drum up votes from the citizens of the New Ink Pitt. The first stop was the Psychic Parlor/Bingo Hall where Black Doom and Chief Blacktoes now live together under a shaky alliance after the Psychic Parlor Property Rights Fiasco. Manly Man got his campaign manager/secretary/assistant/eye candy, Billy G. Hydrick, to knock on the door. Black Doom answered, and as soon as he saw the Manly Man standing behind Billy G, he shut the door without a word. Then Chief Blacktoes came to the door, saying “HOW” or hello. Blacktoes decided to listen, even though there may have been some animosity between himself and Billy G. The last time their paths crossed, back in the old Ink Pitt, Billy G. had tried to give Blacktoes an “Extreme Redneck Makeover” in order to win back his woman, Sunny Big Breasts, which resulted in the destruction of his teepee! Manly Man quickly went into his speech, offering Blacktoes his card. Manly Man said that a vote for him was like putting ones’ weenie into a nice warm butt hole. He was going to keep the weenie (referring to votes, but also, a real penis) safe, and take care of it. He encouraged Blacktoes to “put his vote in him,” because by doing so, he would always “get more out than he put in!” Black Doom showed up once more but refused to even converse with Manly Man. It was pretty evident that he was disgusted with the Man Princess. Manly Man thought because Blacktoes and Black Doom were living in the same house that they were now a same sex couple! He went on about how great he thought it was that they had both come out of the closet! Then, after some mudslinging towards his opponents, Screenface and King Trostelus, Manly Man and Billy G. went on their way, to campaign more places in the New Ink Pitt!
Shit Pitt--Timeslide pt. 6 of 12: Handwritten Hands of Time
 |
| Hands of Time Writes! |
Hands of Time sat alone today in an alley, writing in a diary. He expressed his curiosity towards that fact that he had lost his powers and had now become human. Because of his loss of time management, he now felt a need to put things into words and preserve them on paper. This human desire had baffled him before since he was never concerned with the past before. It had always been his duty to forever push forward, and never look back. Hands of Time wrote down what was happening in the Shit Pitt, as the Rosewood Cowboy and Optic Ink Eye had left him there while they went off to find Johnny Pizazz and get him back on his feet and hopefully out of his depression. Hands of Time expressed his fear that Steve Spurrier and Carnastas might come back and try to eat him. Powerless as he is, there would not be much he could do about it. He then thought about how this all came about. How is it that he has lost his power, and how has he “timeslid” to December 31, 2009? What force is capable of rendering him impotent? Suddenly, Hands of Time got a vision, and word appeared etched across his mind. It was “RETINA.”
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) 2015 Joshua Dyson. The characters portrayed in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
is purely coincidental
No comments:
Post a Comment