Hands of Time can't hold Rufus!
Show 1: Hands of Time experiences Humanity
Hands of Time came out today, and as usual, was high as a kite. After about 2 minutes of talking about the spinning colors and cities (charleston, columbia, and greenville, respectively) he was seeing, he sat down and said he really wasn't a bad guy and that he didn't want to fight Red Doom, Johnny Pizazz, and their army. He said that he didn't want to fight, but Doom and Pizazz continued to persist with their army building and taunts towards him. So Hands of Time realized he had to prove something to them. He decided that he'd give a demonstration of his power, and all he needed was a victim. That's where Rufus the Retard came in. Hands of Time appeared where he was and started messing with him. He tapped his shoulder several times to irritate him, and then threatened to take all his chocolate and his action figures. Rufus finally got mad, and tried to punch Hands of Time. Hands of Time used his time freezing power to freeze Rufus in mid-punch. Usually his power is absolute, and no Ink or Shit Pitt character to date has been able to resist it. By some stroke of fate however, Rufus was able to break free from his frozen state and punch Hands of Time right in the face, knocking him backwards and sending his glasses and hat flying off! NO ONE has ever done this, in all of Ink and Shit Pitt history. The experience was quite a shock for Hands of Time, who backed away from Rufus, writing it off as some fluke caused by Rufus' retardation. So Hands of Time has experienced a little bit of what its like to be vulnerable and human, even if he is not.
Show 2: Manly Man hides Sambo
Manly Man was all excited to be with his newly aquired servant, Sambo Jackson, and couldn't wait to get his pants off. Of course, Manly Man was all set to discover whether it was true, what they say about black guys. He had Sambo take his pants down, and the Man Princess, in his Safari version, squealed for joy at what he saw. Black guys really are bigger! Manly Man was all set to do some really sadistic gay stuff with Sambo, when he heard Steve Spurrier coming. Manly Man hid Sambo because he knew that Spurrier wouldn't like him seeing Sambo. Spurrier came in, with his aggression pill-created erection, begging Manly Man for relief yet again. Manly Man tried to run him off, promising a better time later on tonight. He finally got Spurrier to leave. Sambo came back out, and Manly Man told him he wanted him to get naked and pretend to work in the field while he watched.
to be continued...
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(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
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