Rufus witnessed the infamous
"rear-ending"of 2009!
Show 1: Easter Rear-Ending
Rufus came out today crying and then described in graphic detail, what happened with the Easter Bunny this weekend. The Easter bunny came to Rufus’ house, crashing through his window and pooping on his bed before running back off into the night. Rufus was scared, but curious, and decided to follow the Easter bunny. He found the Easter bunny at an old abandoned house. Rufus peeped inside to see what he was up to, and he saw a naked Lenny Leprechaun on the floor, getting rear ended by the rabbit! Rufus then turned to run when he saw the Easter bunny’s face. He said it was scary. Rufus told all this to Sambo Jackson, and Manly Man Safari, who showed up later. Manly Man Safari said that he got what he deserved for believing in Easter and not Gay Easter. Manly Man said that on Gay Easter, Richard Simmons brings all the good gays lots of pink frilly feathery things! Manly Man tried again to get Rufus to go gay, but to no avail. His attempts had a better effect on subservient Sambo, who agreed to go off with the Manly Man, calling him his new “massah.” Manly Man got all excited, thinking of course, that black guys are well-endowed.
Show 2: Doom and Pizazz begin forming their army
The second show started with Johnny Pizazz saying that he and Doom had started assembling their army, after Hands of Time told them last week to bring everyone they had to fight him. Pizazz introduced Just A Solider as the first “solider” in their army. Just A Solider said he was going to beat hands of time, swinging a stick around like a bayonet and declaring victory for the United States. He did this only after 2 minutes of talking to himself and seeing bats only he could see. Next, Doom introduced the Ink Avenger as the second member of the army. When asked what he would to do to the Hands of Time, the Ink Avenger went all nuts (still on the ‘roids) and grabbed Just A Solider’s stick, breaking it in half over his leg! He then snorted and talked about how Superman was his god and told him how to claim victory of evil. Ink Avenger said he would find Hands of Time in his hidden pocket of time and crush him. Suddenly, Doom got a vision and said that Hands of Time would not fall at their hands, but at the hands of “the one who sees beyond sight.” They still all vowed to fight Hands of Time despite this prophecy and set out to continue recruiting more to their cause to prevent the “May Move.”
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(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
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