Classic Pitt Report 158--Phone Number

Originally posted on my first blog, on June 9, 2009

New Ink Pitt--Thug Wife pt. 1 of 6: Phone Number

Wilbur Hydrick,  a trucker

Trevor Hydrick, honeydipper

Today found the Hydrick brothers, with the exception of J-Diddy and Billy G, out in the woods.  Trevor and Wilbur were alone in the forest, revealing that they had been there since Hands of Time sent them away from the Shit Pitt.  Billy G. and J-Diddy had both left to go to town.  Of course, Billy G. is now working for the Manly Man, but Trevor and Wilbur are not yet aware of this.  As for J-Diddy, he evidently went out on his own. Trevor talked about how J-Diddy had too much city in him, and could never adjust to living in the country like the rest of them.  Trevor asked Wilbur how he felt and Wilbur, who was taking a crap in the bushes, said he was feeling a lot better!  He then yelled because he had wiped his butt by accident with some poison ivy and now it was itching!  He came back over and talked with Trevor while scratching his butt.

Suddenly, Stardust appeared, sending Trevor and Wilbur into a flurry of blind redneck fear!  The two thought Stardust was some kind of alien, and started throwing rocks at him! Since Hands of Time had transported the Hydricks to the New Ink Pitt (See the April 30, 2009 blog), this was the first time they had seen Stardust.  They thought he was going to take them away in his spaceship and give them anal probes!  Stardust finally got through to Wilbur, who was ready to listen when Stardust said he had the phone number of a hot girl who J-Diddy used to date.  Wilbur, the “Roadside Romeo,” was quick to take the number from Stardust.  Stardust said he had given them the number to let J-Diddy know that his old girlfriend was here in the New Ink Pitt.  Stardust left, and Wilbur was ready to call the number, hoping this girl would be like one of his truck stop sluts.  Trevor then reminded him that they were in the woods and had no phone.  So the two made off for the city, in search of a pay phone!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) 2015 Joshua Dyson.  The characters portrayed in this work
are fictitious.  Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
is purely coincidental