New Ink Pitt--Sterealizations pt. 4 of 5: “Trick Nor Treat”
Rufus the Retard returned home after leaving The Haunted House of Doom early on Halloween. He was met on the front porch by his mommy, Rachel. Rufus became worried. His mommy didn’t look at all pleased with him. “Rufus!! Where have you been? We were supposed to go trick or treating like we do every year!” Rufus’ eyes darted as he thought of an excuse. “Mommee, I go to Mr. Doom’s haunted house! He pay me money just for showing up!” Rachel’s eyes squinted as she became even more furious with him. “What!?! You’ve been hanging around that sinful Doom AGAIN? I told you not to go back there after last time!!! Why did you disobey me, Rufus?!?” Rufus looked down. “But Mommee, he pay me money even though I not play Fwankenstein! I get there and he tuwn off all the lights and I get scare and wun back home!” Rufus then squatted down on the ground and started crying. “He scare me, Mommee!!!” Rachel looked down at her retarded son, and felt sympathy for him…yet again. She knelt down and hugged him. “Oh, Rufus, I’m sorry. Mommy is sorry she yelled at you. I just want to keep you safe. Mr. Doom is not a bad man, but he has different beliefs that our own. You are very impressionable, and I don’t want you led astray from the Mormon faith! You understand why Mommy was worried about you don’t you?” Rufus smiled, clearly aware that he had once more manipulated his mommy. “Y-yes Mommee I undewstand! Now can we go twick o tweating?” Rachel sighed and told Rufus that it was too late in the evening and that he would now have to wait until next year. Rufus was distraught that he would not get to go out and get candy and let Rachel know. Rachel said that not participating in trick or treating this year was Rufus’ own fault since he ran off without telling her where he was going. Rufus began to cry again, but this time, Rachel showed no sympathy. When that didn’t work, Rufus remembered something his “daddy,” Lenny had done. Rufus raised his fist…and PUNCHED HIMSELF IN THE NUTS!!
Rufus the Retard returned home after leaving The Haunted House of Doom early on Halloween. He was met on the front porch by his mommy, Rachel. Rufus became worried. His mommy didn’t look at all pleased with him. “Rufus!! Where have you been? We were supposed to go trick or treating like we do every year!” Rufus’ eyes darted as he thought of an excuse. “Mommee, I go to Mr. Doom’s haunted house! He pay me money just for showing up!” Rachel’s eyes squinted as she became even more furious with him. “What!?! You’ve been hanging around that sinful Doom AGAIN? I told you not to go back there after last time!!! Why did you disobey me, Rufus?!?” Rufus looked down. “But Mommee, he pay me money even though I not play Fwankenstein! I get there and he tuwn off all the lights and I get scare and wun back home!” Rufus then squatted down on the ground and started crying. “He scare me, Mommee!!!” Rachel looked down at her retarded son, and felt sympathy for him…yet again. She knelt down and hugged him. “Oh, Rufus, I’m sorry. Mommy is sorry she yelled at you. I just want to keep you safe. Mr. Doom is not a bad man, but he has different beliefs that our own. You are very impressionable, and I don’t want you led astray from the Mormon faith! You understand why Mommy was worried about you don’t you?” Rufus smiled, clearly aware that he had once more manipulated his mommy. “Y-yes Mommee I undewstand! Now can we go twick o tweating?” Rachel sighed and told Rufus that it was too late in the evening and that he would now have to wait until next year. Rufus was distraught that he would not get to go out and get candy and let Rachel know. Rachel said that not participating in trick or treating this year was Rufus’ own fault since he ran off without telling her where he was going. Rufus began to cry again, but this time, Rachel showed no sympathy. When that didn’t work, Rufus remembered something his “daddy,” Lenny had done. Rufus raised his fist…and PUNCHED HIMSELF IN THE NUTS!!
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All characters, stories, photos, and performances are (C) Copyright 2010 Joshua Dyson
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are (C) Copyright 2010 Joshua Dyson
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