Helloi, it's Mr. Clementine, back to tell all you all some wonderful stories! Today, Mr. Clementine is going to tell you the story of the 'Holic With a Heart! Once upon a time, there lived a man named um...let's call him Marty! Marty was a smart young man, and always curious about life. He was always trying to learn more about life by taking risks. He often took people up on dares, doing things most people wouldn't. Marty's friend once dared him to hit himself in the head with a glass dish, and Marty did just that! He was bruised and in pain, but he survived, and what a great lesson he learned about life! He did many other things that caused him much pain, but those tales are for another time. Today, Mr. Clementine wants to talk about Marty's good nature. Marty had an addiction to alcohol, especially beer, which was his favorite. He drank so much that he could hardly get drunk anymore, only getting a "buzz" after drinking 24 cans! So Marty had a real problem with his drinking, but that didn't mean he didn't have a good heart. In fact, Marty had one of the biggest hearts in all of his town! It was proven when Marty found a kitten at his place of work that was abandoned. He took the kitty in, and tried to raise it. Unfortunately, Marty had only beer in his house and no milk, so he had take the kitty to the animal shelter, where they put it down in about 2 hours. Of course, no one told Marty. A few days after that, the 'holic with a heart couldn't resist a little orphaned birdie that showed up outside his place of work. Marty was going to take it in, until a mockingbird flew down and pecked it to death. So what have we learned today? It's okay to be an alcoholic so long as you still have a big heart. It's also ok to adopt kittens and then throw them away so the "Humane" society can murder them. And don't forget the birdie. Maybe it died because it deserved it. Well that's all for now!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) 2014 Joshua Dyson. The characters portrayed in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
is purely coincidental
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