Originally posted on my first blog, on May 21, 2009
Show 1 (Inkcast--New Ink Pitt) Face the Gaytion pt. 3 of 12
Manly Man Questions Stardust
Manly Man* pranced around like a lady today, talking about how great it was to be alive and how he loved being gay. The only thing that seemed to rain on his pretty parade was the fact that Screenface doesn't like him. Manly Man said he couldn't understand why Screenface has been avoiding his affection. He said that Screenface should just go ahead and come out of the closet, but if he didn't, Manly Man was going to "cum" inside with him. He said they could then both "cum" together. Suddenly, Stardust appeared, making Manly Manly gush in awe at the Star-Crossed Crossdresser. Stardust was there to see how Manly Man was adjusting to life in the new Ink Pitt. Manly Man said he was getting along just fine, and immediately viewed Stardust as his new gay god, dropping Richard Simmons as the gay deity just like that! Manly Man marveled at Stardust and all his talk about beauty and making others beautiful. He then asked Stardust for help with Screenface. Stardust told Manly Man that he should treat the "beautiful young" Screenface to an Extreme Gay Makeover. Manly Man got all excited, proclaiming what a great idea that was, and ran off to make preparations.
Show 2 (Shitshow--Shit Pitt) Coming of La Luna Guerrero pt. 3 of 6
Ink Avenger Attacked by La Luna Guerrero
Juan Juarez tricked Ink Avenger into coming out today, after calling his mother a whore. Juarez also claimed to have kidnapped a child, which he knew would send the hero running for sure. Ink Avenger did show up, flying in at an astonishing speed, prepared to put some serious 'roid-enraged hurting on Juan Juarez. He was unable to touch Juarez however, as he was suddenly and violently attacked by an unseen force that threw multiple punches at superhuman speeds. Juarez said it was La Luna Guerrero, and that Ink Avenger was about to be defeated. Ink Avenger was left laying on the ground, and when he tried to rise again, he was attacked mentally by this La Luna Guerrero. Guerrero was never seen, and Juarez said it was because he can move so incredibly fast. Juarez left Ink Avenger in a world of pain almost as bad as what he has inflicted on so many others the past months. Has Ink Avenger finally met his match?
*though never identified in this posting, it is assumed that the Manly Man mentioned here is Manly Man Gaymerica, whom the Face the Gaytion Storyline revolves around.
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) 2014 Joshua Dyson. The characters portrayed in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
Friday, April 25, 2014
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Classic Pitt Report 146
Originally posted on my first blog, on May 19, 2009
Show 1 (New Ink Pitt) Psychic Parlor Property Rights pt. 2 of 6:
Chief Blacktoes' wardance
Black Doom complained once again today of being disturbed from his sleep by Chief Blacktoes, who claims that the new psychic parlor where Stardust has placed Doom is resting on an old Indian burial ground. Doom said that early this morning Blacktoes was outside performing a wardance. Doom went out and told him to leave because he didn't care about any dead Indians. He told Blacktoes to either go back to whatever reservation he came from or maybe he should go off and get ready for another Indian summer camp like the one he hosted in the original Ink Pitt back in the summer of 2005. Blacktoes finally left, but told Doom that he would be cursed because he would not leave the Indian burial ground. Doom joked later about the fact that he's already cursed, having to wear a cowl on his head and cover up his ugly mug. Doom was then visited by Stardust, who asked again why Doom wasn't happy with his "beautiful" new place. Doom said it was because it had strings attached. Stardust just ignored Doom's complaints and told him to go down to K-Mart and get some decor from the Martha Stewart collection, using her famous line "it's a good thing." Doom said he'd tried using his powers to escape this new Ink Pitt with no success. Stardust said it was useless and that Doom and Blacktoes were stuck there.
Show 2 (Shit Pitt) Timeslide pt. 2 of 12: Tulmultous Timeslide
Hands of Time was all nuts again today, saying he had just woken up from another "lost time" episode, or "timeslide" as he is now calling it. He found himself in an alley, not really sure where or when he was. The answer would come when he tripped over the leg of the now homeless Johnny Pizazz. Pizazz was looking like he was at the end of his rope, drinking what he thought was alcohol from a glass bottle. Hands of Time couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. He asked Pizazz why he looked the way he did. Once Pizazz recognized Hands of Time, he told him that he'd been missing for around 6 months, and that it was now December 2009 in the Shit Pitt! Hands of Time had timeslid 6 months into the future!! Pizazz wished him a merry Christmas, and said that his magician act had gone under and now he was out of work and homeless. His trademark microphone was missing, and Pizazz thought a roll of toilet paper was his mic! When he realized it wasn't, he told Hands of Time that he had been using his mic as a place to pee, and then we he got really thirsty, he drank his own pee out of it! Hands of Time was very freaked out by the fact that one of his greatest opponents in the whole Pitts Apart affair had sunk so low. He was even more freaked out by the fact that he had missed 6 months! He started shouting, "Who's doing this to me? I'm the Hands of Time! I can't miss time!" He then ran off, leaving the downtrodden Pizazz behind.
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson
The characters portrayed in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
 |
| Blacktoes cursed Doom! |
Chief Blacktoes' wardance
Black Doom complained once again today of being disturbed from his sleep by Chief Blacktoes, who claims that the new psychic parlor where Stardust has placed Doom is resting on an old Indian burial ground. Doom said that early this morning Blacktoes was outside performing a wardance. Doom went out and told him to leave because he didn't care about any dead Indians. He told Blacktoes to either go back to whatever reservation he came from or maybe he should go off and get ready for another Indian summer camp like the one he hosted in the original Ink Pitt back in the summer of 2005. Blacktoes finally left, but told Doom that he would be cursed because he would not leave the Indian burial ground. Doom joked later about the fact that he's already cursed, having to wear a cowl on his head and cover up his ugly mug. Doom was then visited by Stardust, who asked again why Doom wasn't happy with his "beautiful" new place. Doom said it was because it had strings attached. Stardust just ignored Doom's complaints and told him to go down to K-Mart and get some decor from the Martha Stewart collection, using her famous line "it's a good thing." Doom said he'd tried using his powers to escape this new Ink Pitt with no success. Stardust said it was useless and that Doom and Blacktoes were stuck there.
Show 2 (Shit Pitt) Timeslide pt. 2 of 12: Tulmultous Timeslide
 |
| Homeless Johnny Pizzazz! |
Hands of Time was all nuts again today, saying he had just woken up from another "lost time" episode, or "timeslide" as he is now calling it. He found himself in an alley, not really sure where or when he was. The answer would come when he tripped over the leg of the now homeless Johnny Pizazz. Pizazz was looking like he was at the end of his rope, drinking what he thought was alcohol from a glass bottle. Hands of Time couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. He asked Pizazz why he looked the way he did. Once Pizazz recognized Hands of Time, he told him that he'd been missing for around 6 months, and that it was now December 2009 in the Shit Pitt! Hands of Time had timeslid 6 months into the future!! Pizazz wished him a merry Christmas, and said that his magician act had gone under and now he was out of work and homeless. His trademark microphone was missing, and Pizazz thought a roll of toilet paper was his mic! When he realized it wasn't, he told Hands of Time that he had been using his mic as a place to pee, and then we he got really thirsty, he drank his own pee out of it! Hands of Time was very freaked out by the fact that one of his greatest opponents in the whole Pitts Apart affair had sunk so low. He was even more freaked out by the fact that he had missed 6 months! He started shouting, "Who's doing this to me? I'm the Hands of Time! I can't miss time!" He then ran off, leaving the downtrodden Pizazz behind.
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson
The characters portrayed in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Classic Pitt Report 145
Originally posted on my first blog, on May 18, 2009
Show 1 Clementine's Story: "The Holic with a Heart"
Helloi, it's Mr. Clementine, back to tell all you all some wonderful stories! Today, Mr. Clementine is going to tell you the story of the 'Holic With a Heart! Once upon a time, there lived a man named um...let's call him Marty! Marty was a smart young man, and always curious about life. He was always trying to learn more about life by taking risks. He often took people up on dares, doing things most people wouldn't. Marty's friend once dared him to hit himself in the head with a glass dish, and Marty did just that! He was bruised and in pain, but he survived, and what a great lesson he learned about life! He did many other things that caused him much pain, but those tales are for another time. Today, Mr. Clementine wants to talk about Marty's good nature. Marty had an addiction to alcohol, especially beer, which was his favorite. He drank so much that he could hardly get drunk anymore, only getting a "buzz" after drinking 24 cans! So Marty had a real problem with his drinking, but that didn't mean he didn't have a good heart. In fact, Marty had one of the biggest hearts in all of his town! It was proven when Marty found a kitten at his place of work that was abandoned. He took the kitty in, and tried to raise it. Unfortunately, Marty had only beer in his house and no milk, so he had take the kitty to the animal shelter, where they put it down in about 2 hours. Of course, no one told Marty. A few days after that, the 'holic with a heart couldn't resist a little orphaned birdie that showed up outside his place of work. Marty was going to take it in, until a mockingbird flew down and pecked it to death. So what have we learned today? It's okay to be an alcoholic so long as you still have a big heart. It's also ok to adopt kittens and then throw them away so the "Humane" society can murder them. And don't forget the birdie. Maybe it died because it deserved it. Well that's all for now!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) 2014 Joshua Dyson. The characters portrayed in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
Helloi, it's Mr. Clementine, back to tell all you all some wonderful stories! Today, Mr. Clementine is going to tell you the story of the 'Holic With a Heart! Once upon a time, there lived a man named um...let's call him Marty! Marty was a smart young man, and always curious about life. He was always trying to learn more about life by taking risks. He often took people up on dares, doing things most people wouldn't. Marty's friend once dared him to hit himself in the head with a glass dish, and Marty did just that! He was bruised and in pain, but he survived, and what a great lesson he learned about life! He did many other things that caused him much pain, but those tales are for another time. Today, Mr. Clementine wants to talk about Marty's good nature. Marty had an addiction to alcohol, especially beer, which was his favorite. He drank so much that he could hardly get drunk anymore, only getting a "buzz" after drinking 24 cans! So Marty had a real problem with his drinking, but that didn't mean he didn't have a good heart. In fact, Marty had one of the biggest hearts in all of his town! It was proven when Marty found a kitten at his place of work that was abandoned. He took the kitty in, and tried to raise it. Unfortunately, Marty had only beer in his house and no milk, so he had take the kitty to the animal shelter, where they put it down in about 2 hours. Of course, no one told Marty. A few days after that, the 'holic with a heart couldn't resist a little orphaned birdie that showed up outside his place of work. Marty was going to take it in, until a mockingbird flew down and pecked it to death. So what have we learned today? It's okay to be an alcoholic so long as you still have a big heart. It's also ok to adopt kittens and then throw them away so the "Humane" society can murder them. And don't forget the birdie. Maybe it died because it deserved it. Well that's all for now!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) 2014 Joshua Dyson. The characters portrayed in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
is purely coincidental
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Classic Pitt Report 144
Originally posted on my first blog, on May 15, 2009
Show 1: (only one show was held) Face the Gaytion pt 2 of 12: "The Gay Pole"
The Manly Man Gaymerica showed up today with something called a Gay Pole. On it were pictures of around 10 famous gay people. Manly Man Gaymerica said the Gay Pole is kinda the equivalent to the May Pole that people dance around or whatever in May. It's a large part of Gay May, which gay people celebrate every May. Manly Man revealed the 10 gays with much excitement. He revealed famous people like Prince, Borat, Chris Kattan's Mango character, the Wiggles, wrestler Randy Orton, and even the president himself, Barack Obama as being gay. Finally, Manly Man revealed Screenface as the biggest gay of all, prompting him to come out in anger. Screenface said again that Manly Man was dead because he killed him. The show ended with the promise of more to come.
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) 2014 Joshua Dyson. The characters portrayed in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
Show 1: (only one show was held) Face the Gaytion pt 2 of 12: "The Gay Pole"
 |
| Manly Man Gaymerica Presents: The Gay Pole! |
The Manly Man Gaymerica showed up today with something called a Gay Pole. On it were pictures of around 10 famous gay people. Manly Man Gaymerica said the Gay Pole is kinda the equivalent to the May Pole that people dance around or whatever in May. It's a large part of Gay May, which gay people celebrate every May. Manly Man revealed the 10 gays with much excitement. He revealed famous people like Prince, Borat, Chris Kattan's Mango character, the Wiggles, wrestler Randy Orton, and even the president himself, Barack Obama as being gay. Finally, Manly Man revealed Screenface as the biggest gay of all, prompting him to come out in anger. Screenface said again that Manly Man was dead because he killed him. The show ended with the promise of more to come.
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) 2014 Joshua Dyson. The characters portrayed in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
is purely coincidental
Classic Pitt Report 143
Originally posted on my first blog, on May 14, 2009
Show 1 (New Ink Pitt): Psychic Parlor Property Rights pt. 1 of 6: Doom's First Visitor
Black Doom complained today about being interrupted from his slumber inside his new psychic parlor. Someone was outside at 6 AM knocking on his door. He opened the door to find Chief Blacktoes, who said that the land in which the psychic parlor is placed is actually an old Indian burial ground, and that Doom must leave. Doom refused, and got Blacktoes to leave, but he knows that he will be back. Doom then called out Stardust, who gave him the psychic parlor in the first place. He called Stardust an "Indian giver," claiming that what he gave Doom wasn't his to give in the first place. Stardust couldn't figure out why Doom wasn't more appreciative, and finally left as Doom called him a fag. Stardust said he was not a fag, but that he was a beautiful young man who loved fine things, like ladies' panties. With no fat women in sight in this new Ink Pitt, and his only company being a crossdresser and an angry indian, Doom remained pissed off.
Show 2 (Shit Pitt): Coming of La Luna Guerrero pt 1 of 6: Juan Juarez talks of La Luna Guerrero
Juan Juarez showed up today, for the first time since his last appearance on Mr. Clementine's show, when he got beat up by Ink Avenger. He was clearly seeking revenge, remarking on how Steve Spurrier was once again beaten by Ink Avenger. Juan Juarez said that these whole 'roid rage-fueled beatdowns that Ink Avenger has been serving up to opponents had to stop, and Jurez has just the man to do it. He spoke of someone named La Luna Guerrero and how he would totally defeat the Ink Avenger.
All characters, stories, photos, and
performances are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson
The characters and events portrayed in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
 |
| Black Doom is in trouble with Chief Blacktoes! |
Black Doom complained today about being interrupted from his slumber inside his new psychic parlor. Someone was outside at 6 AM knocking on his door. He opened the door to find Chief Blacktoes, who said that the land in which the psychic parlor is placed is actually an old Indian burial ground, and that Doom must leave. Doom refused, and got Blacktoes to leave, but he knows that he will be back. Doom then called out Stardust, who gave him the psychic parlor in the first place. He called Stardust an "Indian giver," claiming that what he gave Doom wasn't his to give in the first place. Stardust couldn't figure out why Doom wasn't more appreciative, and finally left as Doom called him a fag. Stardust said he was not a fag, but that he was a beautiful young man who loved fine things, like ladies' panties. With no fat women in sight in this new Ink Pitt, and his only company being a crossdresser and an angry indian, Doom remained pissed off.
Show 2 (Shit Pitt): Coming of La Luna Guerrero pt 1 of 6: Juan Juarez talks of La Luna Guerrero
 |
| Juan Juarez claims to know someone who can beat the 'roided Ink Avenger! |
Juan Juarez showed up today, for the first time since his last appearance on Mr. Clementine's show, when he got beat up by Ink Avenger. He was clearly seeking revenge, remarking on how Steve Spurrier was once again beaten by Ink Avenger. Juan Juarez said that these whole 'roid rage-fueled beatdowns that Ink Avenger has been serving up to opponents had to stop, and Jurez has just the man to do it. He spoke of someone named La Luna Guerrero and how he would totally defeat the Ink Avenger.
performances are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson
The characters and events portrayed in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Classic Pitt Report 142
Originally posted on my first blog, on May 13, 2009
Show 1 (New Ink Pitt): "Face the Gaytion" pt 1 of 12: "Screenface Questions Manly Man"
Screenface showed up today, making his presence in the New Ink Pitt known by calling out the Manly Man. He got two of the five versions of the Manly Man, Safari and Midnight. Screenface said that he wanted to ask the "Manly Man" some questions. He said that he killed Manly Man in the Whitespace after he interfered with some of his nefarious plans. Screenface said that none of the Manly Man verisons could be the actual Manly Man because he was dead. He reminded the audience of the time he brought the fragmented mask of the Manly Man to the Shit Pitt. Manly Man Midnight's response wasn't at all what Screenface expected. Midnight felt up Screenface's butt and got all excited because he thought Screenface wanted to ask him some different questions. Midnight said he'd answer Screenface's questions, and he did by telling him that his dick was 9", and that he was "gay and ready to play." Screenface couldn't get one over on Midnight, and finally got frustrated and left, saying he wanted no part of the Manly Man, only that he wanted everyone to know that the true Manly Man was dead. Midnight talked with Safari, and then went on to talk about the Gay May celebration and about how he loved the Maypole. The two Manly Men also got competitive, and it was suggestive that all five will battle in some sort of dating show for Screenface's affections!
Show 2: (Shit Pitt): Timeslide pt 1 of 12: "Hands of Time looses Control of Time"
Hands of Time snorts crack. He also smokes "wacky weed." Everyone knows this, but his behavior today was nothing like his normal drug-induced silliness. He paced around the Shit Pitt like he was going nuts, acting like he was afraid of everything. He went on about how he was losing control of time and how he had been experiencing "lost time" episodes during the past two days. Actually, he still thought it was Monday because he had somehow missed the time from then to now. He got really agitated when he learned that it was Wednesday, and said "you don't understand. I have to know about every second, minute, and hour as it passes." He basically said that there was no way he could be out of touch with the passage of time, since he is essentially, the Hands of Time. Then, Shithead came out and said he had a bone to pick with Hands of Time, after he ruined his plans for the Hydricks by exposing his Grandma Hydrick facade. Shithead began talking, and then his words and motions sped up, as if time was fast forwarding by itself. Hands of Time got totally freaked out, and ran off. Shithead thought he had scared H.O.T away.
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) 2014 Joshua Dyson. The characters portrayed in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
Show 1 (New Ink Pitt): "Face the Gaytion" pt 1 of 12: "Screenface Questions Manly Man"
 |
| Screenface wants to get to the bottom of the Manly Men phenomenon, but they get to his bottom first! |
Screenface showed up today, making his presence in the New Ink Pitt known by calling out the Manly Man. He got two of the five versions of the Manly Man, Safari and Midnight. Screenface said that he wanted to ask the "Manly Man" some questions. He said that he killed Manly Man in the Whitespace after he interfered with some of his nefarious plans. Screenface said that none of the Manly Man verisons could be the actual Manly Man because he was dead. He reminded the audience of the time he brought the fragmented mask of the Manly Man to the Shit Pitt. Manly Man Midnight's response wasn't at all what Screenface expected. Midnight felt up Screenface's butt and got all excited because he thought Screenface wanted to ask him some different questions. Midnight said he'd answer Screenface's questions, and he did by telling him that his dick was 9", and that he was "gay and ready to play." Screenface couldn't get one over on Midnight, and finally got frustrated and left, saying he wanted no part of the Manly Man, only that he wanted everyone to know that the true Manly Man was dead. Midnight talked with Safari, and then went on to talk about the Gay May celebration and about how he loved the Maypole. The two Manly Men also got competitive, and it was suggestive that all five will battle in some sort of dating show for Screenface's affections!
Show 2: (Shit Pitt): Timeslide pt 1 of 12: "Hands of Time looses Control of Time"
 |
| Hands of Time, before getting freaked out after he lost control of time! |
Hands of Time snorts crack. He also smokes "wacky weed." Everyone knows this, but his behavior today was nothing like his normal drug-induced silliness. He paced around the Shit Pitt like he was going nuts, acting like he was afraid of everything. He went on about how he was losing control of time and how he had been experiencing "lost time" episodes during the past two days. Actually, he still thought it was Monday because he had somehow missed the time from then to now. He got really agitated when he learned that it was Wednesday, and said "you don't understand. I have to know about every second, minute, and hour as it passes." He basically said that there was no way he could be out of touch with the passage of time, since he is essentially, the Hands of Time. Then, Shithead came out and said he had a bone to pick with Hands of Time, after he ruined his plans for the Hydricks by exposing his Grandma Hydrick facade. Shithead began talking, and then his words and motions sped up, as if time was fast forwarding by itself. Hands of Time got totally freaked out, and ran off. Shithead thought he had scared H.O.T away.
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) 2014 Joshua Dyson. The characters portrayed in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
is purely coincidental
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Classic Pitt Report 141
Originally posted on my first blog, on May 12, 2009
Show 1 (New Ink Pitt): Stardust and Speedy Storylines
Stardust appeared today and reintroduced himself for the benefit of a returning audience member, and then went on to explain the new speedier storyline format that will now be utilized in the New Ink Pitt and Shit Pitt. He then got a little carried away and started talking about beautiful young men again, and how you have to treat one right when he comes to one's house. Stardust said you have to raid the panty drawer, and pull out the sexiest, most decorative panties for that man to slip into before you take his picture! Is the Star-Crossed Crossdresser also a photographer?
Show 2 (Shit Pitt): Spurrier's Growth Spurt
Spurrier called Ink Avenger out today for what would be his final conflict with the hero. Spurrier had taken a whole bottle of Viagr--um agression pills and now he was ready to beat Ink Avenger like he'd never been beaten before. A hit to the head with a board couldn't stop Spurrier, but a quick look into Spurrier's internal organs courtesy of the Ink Avenger's x-ray vision revealed that Spurrier was about to stop his own self. The agression pills had begun to cause Spurrier to have the world's biggest erection...so big that he was in pain and had to scramble out away from the fight! Ink Avenger didn't have to lift a finger as the "cocky" coach quickly made his way out of the Shit Pitt.
All characters, stories, photos, and
performances are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson
The characters and events portrayed in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
 |
| Stardust & Speedier Storylines! |
Stardust appeared today and reintroduced himself for the benefit of a returning audience member, and then went on to explain the new speedier storyline format that will now be utilized in the New Ink Pitt and Shit Pitt. He then got a little carried away and started talking about beautiful young men again, and how you have to treat one right when he comes to one's house. Stardust said you have to raid the panty drawer, and pull out the sexiest, most decorative panties for that man to slip into before you take his picture! Is the Star-Crossed Crossdresser also a photographer?
Show 2 (Shit Pitt): Spurrier's Growth Spurt
Spurrier called Ink Avenger out today for what would be his final conflict with the hero. Spurrier had taken a whole bottle of Viagr--um agression pills and now he was ready to beat Ink Avenger like he'd never been beaten before. A hit to the head with a board couldn't stop Spurrier, but a quick look into Spurrier's internal organs courtesy of the Ink Avenger's x-ray vision revealed that Spurrier was about to stop his own self. The agression pills had begun to cause Spurrier to have the world's biggest erection...so big that he was in pain and had to scramble out away from the fight! Ink Avenger didn't have to lift a finger as the "cocky" coach quickly made his way out of the Shit Pitt.
All characters, stories, photos, and
performances are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson
The characters and events portrayed in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
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