Originally posted on my first blog, on September 3, 2007
Mr. Clementine's first post!
"Hello children, today Mr. Clementine is going to tell his labor day story! So sit back and sip your Hi-C and eat your fruit cups! There was this guy on the Jerry Lewis MDA labor day telethon that had a girly voice. We'll call him Terry. Terry hated his girly voice, and it made it worse that he had to be an announcer for the telethon each year. Can you say "announcer," children? Well to make things better, Terry tried to get more baritone in his voice by doing throat exercises. He'd do swallowing repetitions in an attempt to deepen his voice (don't try at home kids) working his throat like a body builder works his muscles. He then tried blowing up rather large blow up toys, including blow up sex dolls, to strenghten his vocal chords. He ate hundreds of Ricola mints and tried to breathe cold air. Then one day, Terry met a lady who had a similar problem. The lady had a deep voice like a man's. They fell in love and forgot about their troubles, until Terry found out the lady was a man. It happened when the "lady" told Terry that he could deepen his voice by giving "her" a little deep throat....ughhh. Can you say "deep throat," children?"
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(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
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