The Second Person tries yet again to stop Barney from printing the bag job,
only to be defeated once more!
Inkstains updates every Wednesday night!
Inkstains characters, stories, and art are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Inkstains 75
Inkstains 75--Another Attempt
The Second Person tries yet again to stop Barney from printing the bag job,
only to be defeated once more!
Inkstains updates every Wednesday night!
Inkstains characters, stories, and art are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
The Second Person tries yet again to stop Barney from printing the bag job,
only to be defeated once more!
Inkstains updates every Wednesday night!
Inkstains characters, stories, and art are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Classic Pitt Report 120
The 'Roided Ink Avenger--Good or Bad?
Show 1: Hero Worship
Rufus was still searching for the good guys today, as he brought out the Ink Avenger, the resident superhero of the Pitt. Rufus was a bit confused because Ink Avenger's recent actions of attacking and pulverizing just about everybody makes him look like a villan. Of course Rufus didn't understand that Ink Avenger is shooting up the 'roids and that's making him crazy. Ink Avenger asked why Rufus called him and Rufus said he didn't call him because he didn't have a phone. Rufus tried to get I.A. to tell him whether he's good or bad, but he broke off and started talking to "Superman" and "Wonderwoman" before flying off to another emergency (meaning Ink Avenger is probably going to beat someone up without out any regard to right or wrong). Rufus got all sad because he felt I.A. was no longer a hero. Rufus then vowed to become his own hero, as Super Rufus!
Show 2: Wilbur and Junior's Plans Thwarted
Show 2 started off with Wilbur and Junior (J-Diddy) Hydrick getting beat by Grandma Hydrick, who put a stop to their plans to hit the open road. She told the boys that they were all gonna stay there until she got the city out of them and showed them the straight and narrow. Trevor and Billy G laughed at both of them. Grandma Hydrick sent them to their rooms so she could go to bed (at 1 PM in the afternoon!!). She said she'd deal with them some more tomorrow.
The Classic Pitt Report updates four days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Monday, April 18, 2011
Classic Pitt Report 119
Originally Posted on my first blog, on Monday March 31, 2009
(Reported from my actual show performances)
Officer Rick Bates vs Rufus!
Show 1: Rufus vs Bates
Rufus the retard continued his plans to fight everyone to determine whether they are good or evil. Today, Rufus challenged Officer Rick Bates, who as of late has been known for his crooked actions in "upholding" the law. Rufus got nervous before Bates came out, worried that one of his heroes was going to be tarnished. He would be right. However, Rufus started yammering about special school and how he met another special person there. She was a girl he liked and she took her panties off and Rufus found out what sex was about. After missing several times, Rufus finally found the hole. This talk was mostly off subject (but nothing is off subject to Rufus) but got a huge response from the crowd. Finally Bates came out and basically told poor Rufus that he really only worked for money and it really didn't matter whether something was right or wrong. Rufus pitched a fit and threw stuff at Bates. Bates reminded him that he was an officer and that if Rufus got too crazy he'd have to take him to jail. Rufus calmed down after that. Bates told Rufus that there was no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, and no other magical things in the world and that he needed to live in reality. He then told Rufus that he had to pay him for all this motivational speaking. Rufus didn't understand, so Bates said he'd just come and get payment from his mommy in a few days. We all know what he meant by that.
Show 2: Wilbur's Restless Heart
In a risky move on the part of production, the second stringer brothers of the Hydrick family, Wilbur and J-Diddy (Junior) Hydrick were featured in this show alone. Wilbur was complaining about the recent return of the previously-thought deceased Grandma Hydrick. First she beat all four brothers with a board, then she made them drink her Cabbage Tobbacco Elixir to "get the city outta 'em!" Now Wilbur, a truck driver, talked with J-Diddy feeling a major need to get away from her strict rules. Wilbur said that Grandma Hydrick would never stand for him going off and getting him some more truck stop slut action if she knew about it. Wilbur said he didn't live by her rules and that he only went by the "Code of the Road." Another reason Wilbur was wanting to leave was because last night Grandma Hydrick acted all weird and made all four boys stand in a field with no pants. She then personally shaved all the pubic hair from their groeing area for some odd reason. Wilbur vowed to leave, and J-Diddy left with him by the end of the show.
The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
(Reported from my actual show performances)
Officer Rick Bates vs Rufus!
Show 1: Rufus vs Bates
Rufus the retard continued his plans to fight everyone to determine whether they are good or evil. Today, Rufus challenged Officer Rick Bates, who as of late has been known for his crooked actions in "upholding" the law. Rufus got nervous before Bates came out, worried that one of his heroes was going to be tarnished. He would be right. However, Rufus started yammering about special school and how he met another special person there. She was a girl he liked and she took her panties off and Rufus found out what sex was about. After missing several times, Rufus finally found the hole. This talk was mostly off subject (but nothing is off subject to Rufus) but got a huge response from the crowd. Finally Bates came out and basically told poor Rufus that he really only worked for money and it really didn't matter whether something was right or wrong. Rufus pitched a fit and threw stuff at Bates. Bates reminded him that he was an officer and that if Rufus got too crazy he'd have to take him to jail. Rufus calmed down after that. Bates told Rufus that there was no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, and no other magical things in the world and that he needed to live in reality. He then told Rufus that he had to pay him for all this motivational speaking. Rufus didn't understand, so Bates said he'd just come and get payment from his mommy in a few days. We all know what he meant by that.
Show 2: Wilbur's Restless Heart
In a risky move on the part of production, the second stringer brothers of the Hydrick family, Wilbur and J-Diddy (Junior) Hydrick were featured in this show alone. Wilbur was complaining about the recent return of the previously-thought deceased Grandma Hydrick. First she beat all four brothers with a board, then she made them drink her Cabbage Tobbacco Elixir to "get the city outta 'em!" Now Wilbur, a truck driver, talked with J-Diddy feeling a major need to get away from her strict rules. Wilbur said that Grandma Hydrick would never stand for him going off and getting him some more truck stop slut action if she knew about it. Wilbur said he didn't live by her rules and that he only went by the "Code of the Road." Another reason Wilbur was wanting to leave was because last night Grandma Hydrick acted all weird and made all four boys stand in a field with no pants. She then personally shaved all the pubic hair from their groeing area for some odd reason. Wilbur vowed to leave, and J-Diddy left with him by the end of the show.
The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Friday, April 15, 2011
Classic Pitt Report 118
Originally Posted on my first blog, on Monday March 30, 2009
(Reported from my actual show performances)
Rufus the Retard & Johnny Pizzazz's first
appearances on this blog!
Show 1: Rufus vs Johnny Pizazz
Rufus came out and declared that he would battle magician, Johnny Pizazz today, in a effort to determine whether he is a good guy or bad guy. After howling in a retarded manner at the passing train, and then putting his head in a nearby bucket and screeching, Rufus decided he was ready to fight. Out came Johnny Pizazz, who really wasn't wanting to fight the Special Boy. Pizazz tried to use his microphone and announce his usual "Mage of the Age, Catalyst of Character, and Maestro of Magic catchphrase, but Rufus wasn't having any of it, as he grabbed the mic and hit Pizazz with it. Pizazz tried to stop Rufus' desire to fight by doing coin tricks. Rufus was too smart for that and figured out Pizazz was hiding the missing coin in his pocket with one trick, and in his hand for another. Rufus got made and deemed Pizazz a bad guy because he played mean tricks on him. Rufus threw the microphone at Pizazz and ran him off. Rufus then stood in his chair and went on about crazy stuff.
Show 2: Hands of Time Talks about a New Hire
Hands of Time came out for the second show of the day, dropping his trademark catchphrase of "I'm going to Charleston," in reference to the fact that he is experiencing a high from whatever "wacky weed" he's snorting. He went on about how hard it was being the Hands of Time, and having to help make events happen and how he needed some kind of relaxation. He then said that in May the two Pitts would be split again and the first pitt would be separated from the second one, and the characters would have to go to their respective places. To help with the split pitts, Hands of Time said he found another person like himself to run one of them. No real details were dropped on who that will be however. To be continued... Disclaimer: The above events are fictional, and are acted out by myself using my improvisational characters. No retarded people were harmed or were even present during the show, and no one was using illegal or legal drugs. Thank you.
(Reported from my actual show performances)
Rufus the Retard & Johnny Pizzazz's first
appearances on this blog!
Show 1: Rufus vs Johnny Pizazz
Rufus came out and declared that he would battle magician, Johnny Pizazz today, in a effort to determine whether he is a good guy or bad guy. After howling in a retarded manner at the passing train, and then putting his head in a nearby bucket and screeching, Rufus decided he was ready to fight. Out came Johnny Pizazz, who really wasn't wanting to fight the Special Boy. Pizazz tried to use his microphone and announce his usual "Mage of the Age, Catalyst of Character, and Maestro of Magic catchphrase, but Rufus wasn't having any of it, as he grabbed the mic and hit Pizazz with it. Pizazz tried to stop Rufus' desire to fight by doing coin tricks. Rufus was too smart for that and figured out Pizazz was hiding the missing coin in his pocket with one trick, and in his hand for another. Rufus got made and deemed Pizazz a bad guy because he played mean tricks on him. Rufus threw the microphone at Pizazz and ran him off. Rufus then stood in his chair and went on about crazy stuff.
Show 2: Hands of Time Talks about a New Hire
Hands of Time came out for the second show of the day, dropping his trademark catchphrase of "I'm going to Charleston," in reference to the fact that he is experiencing a high from whatever "wacky weed" he's snorting. He went on about how hard it was being the Hands of Time, and having to help make events happen and how he needed some kind of relaxation. He then said that in May the two Pitts would be split again and the first pitt would be separated from the second one, and the characters would have to go to their respective places. To help with the split pitts, Hands of Time said he found another person like himself to run one of them. No real details were dropped on who that will be however. To be continued... Disclaimer: The above events are fictional, and are acted out by myself using my improvisational characters. No retarded people were harmed or were even present during the show, and no one was using illegal or legal drugs. Thank you.
The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Classic Pitt Report 117--Pitt Blog Series
Originally posted on my first blog, on March 28, 2009
Ok, from here on out, I will be doing daily blogs reporting what happens in my improvisational shows I do at work, involving characters from my Ink and Shit Pitt universes. Maybe I can also post video and photos of what happened to hopefully entertain people beyond the actual show. I am calling it the Pitt Blog Series.
(This blog would never be called the Pitt "Blog Series" after this, as I decide "Report" made better sense, and immediately started using the term in the next posting.)
Ok, from here on out, I will be doing daily blogs reporting what happens in my improvisational shows I do at work, involving characters from my Ink and Shit Pitt universes. Maybe I can also post video and photos of what happened to hopefully entertain people beyond the actual show. I am calling it the Pitt Blog Series.
(This blog would never be called the Pitt "Blog Series" after this, as I decide "Report" made better sense, and immediately started using the term in the next posting.)
The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Inkstains 74
Inkstains 74: Kelly Senses Victory
Kelly has been pulling t-shirts from the press that are misprinted in the hopes that Mr. Roland will get mad at Josh. Her efforts are about to pay off, as Roland arrives!
The new season of Inkstains updates every Wednesday night!
Inkstains characters, stories, and art are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Kelly has been pulling t-shirts from the press that are misprinted in the hopes that Mr. Roland will get mad at Josh. Her efforts are about to pay off, as Roland arrives!
The new season of Inkstains updates every Wednesday night!
Inkstains characters, stories, and art are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Classic Pitt Report 116--Trevor Hydrick, brother of Billy G, on his brother's bitter betrayl
Originally posted on my first blog, on May 16, 2009
Shortly after arriving in the Shit Pitt, the redneck brothers, Billy G, Wilbur, and Trevor, along with their newly-discovered brother, J-"Junior" Diddy Hydrick, would discover that their dead grandmother's body was no longer in the grave! How this discovery was possible (they were in a new universe and the old Ink Pitt from which they originated was no more)is still uncertain. However, the rednecks somehow knew that Grandma Hydrick was no longer in the grave, and concluded that she had been dug up. After a lot of accusations, Trevor Hydrick decided Billy G. was the culprit!
"Well here ah am, Trevor Hydrick, eldest of the Hydrick brothers, typin' this here blog on the computer. Feelin' a little bit queer sittin' here riting 'bout mah feelin's, but ah guess it's ok since nobody gives a damn 'bout reeding this crap anyway! Well, anyway, I outsmarted mah brother, Billy G, the other day, finally gettin' him to admit that he wuz the one dug Grandma Hydrick up out the cold ground and took her body. We been searching for her body an who dunnit for munths. He finally admitted it by being nice to Rufus, the retard who I wuz intearigatin' the other day. Only a gilty old cuss would stop sumbodee from intearigatin' a retard like Rufus. Rufus is a good kid, but sumtimes ya gotta be a little meen to his "kind." Brybed him with chocolate. New Billy G would go soft and admit he done dug grandma up. Still don no where the bodee is though. Gotta beat it out of him I guess. Tortering him by locking him in the bathroom with Wilbur (our truck driving brother, who is often backed up) while he was takin' a crap sure didnt get him to talk. Our rappin' brother Junior wasn't sucksessfull either, even after makin' Billy G listen to that crap rap music. No we gotta do sumthing relly bad to get Billy G. to tell us wear that bodee is. Gunna do it tomorrow."
Shortly after arriving in the Shit Pitt, the redneck brothers, Billy G, Wilbur, and Trevor, along with their newly-discovered brother, J-"Junior" Diddy Hydrick, would discover that their dead grandmother's body was no longer in the grave! How this discovery was possible (they were in a new universe and the old Ink Pitt from which they originated was no more)is still uncertain. However, the rednecks somehow knew that Grandma Hydrick was no longer in the grave, and concluded that she had been dug up. After a lot of accusations, Trevor Hydrick decided Billy G. was the culprit!
"Well here ah am, Trevor Hydrick, eldest of the Hydrick brothers, typin' this here blog on the computer. Feelin' a little bit queer sittin' here riting 'bout mah feelin's, but ah guess it's ok since nobody gives a damn 'bout reeding this crap anyway! Well, anyway, I outsmarted mah brother, Billy G, the other day, finally gettin' him to admit that he wuz the one dug Grandma Hydrick up out the cold ground and took her body. We been searching for her body an who dunnit for munths. He finally admitted it by being nice to Rufus, the retard who I wuz intearigatin' the other day. Only a gilty old cuss would stop sumbodee from intearigatin' a retard like Rufus. Rufus is a good kid, but sumtimes ya gotta be a little meen to his "kind." Brybed him with chocolate. New Billy G would go soft and admit he done dug grandma up. Still don no where the bodee is though. Gotta beat it out of him I guess. Tortering him by locking him in the bathroom with Wilbur (our truck driving brother, who is often backed up) while he was takin' a crap sure didnt get him to talk. Our rappin' brother Junior wasn't sucksessfull either, even after makin' Billy G listen to that crap rap music. No we gotta do sumthing relly bad to get Billy G. to tell us wear that bodee is. Gunna do it tomorrow."
The Classic Pitt Report updates five days a week on this blog!
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2011 Joshua Dyson
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